Hate Every Beautiful Day
by Tragedy Catalyst
Summary: POST-WAR; "With an identity as a Bookman came the loss of the one you knew and the acquisition of many that would only be as real as the moment, over and forgotten with time." He thinks back to the one name that felt right. And the person that name loved.


AN; Another LaviKanda bit here. Man, I was blown away by the love that **Mediocrity** received within HOURS of being posted. Seriously. That makes writing so worth while. And because it _was_ asked, there shall be a follow up, which is half-way finished but is in need of serious tweaking (and a good look over on my English D: ). So in the meanwhile wait, here's another (almost indecently) short one-shot.

Now onwards to talk about _this_ piece. Another Lavi-centric that is pretty much just repitition and is quite possibly, intensely confusing. So now I shall explain :) Ummm, pretty muchhh, I have an unhealthy love for repitition... I use it so much, it should be illegal . So yeah, prepare yourself for two paragraphs and a few lines of pure repitition. Hopefully it all works out okay. And now to the confusing part. This is in Lavi's point of view, obviamente, what with it being Lavi-centric, and he does not refer to any of his names as _himself_ so it's like he's talking about _someone else_. So when he says **he**, he means himself. Okay? That might help a bit. If not, just ask in a review ;D (so not a ploy to get more reviews). Oh and this is **POST-WAR** (that means after the war, right? stupid confusing English) in case you can't figure that out so there's past tense and present tense put in here. Please don't cry from how confusing this is, I already did that enough for everybody ;3; Aaand um yeah, that's about it, I guess.

Oh, about the three other names, umm I like the name Ari, which IS a boy's name, thank you, and it means Lion, I think; Tema is pronounced like Spanish Teh-ma, and I just like how it sounds, and Yaro randomly popped up in my head and for some reason I keep thinking it's a bad word Dx Lavi likes short names :D I like names that end in vowels/vowel sounds x3

I think my abuse of smilies should also be illegal...

Disclaimer; D.Gray-man is the almighty right and property of Katsura Hoshino to which I post no claim. Along with the title to this work of pure fan whist which is a song by Sugarcult. All I own is my love for repitition, my incapability of writing something of a decent length, and bits of paper and dying pens with which to write ;n;

Word Count; 493! So short, it should be arrested for Public Indecency!! (Yes, with TWO exclamation marks, that's how illegal it is) Because it's not a drabble so it has no excuse . Besides my laziness and almost brain-dead state.

Written On; August 17, 2008, started around 12:10 AM and finished at 1:03 AM. Why does it take me so long to write something so shortttt DDDDD:

_And you know I played it all in here  
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears  
And I threw my whole night down the drain  
You know cause everyone says that I'm not the same  
Since I changed my name_

- I Changed My Name by Sugarcult

* * *

With an identity as a Bookman came the loss of the one you knew and the acquisition of many that would only be as real as the moment, over and forgotten with time.

Since his declaration into the world of those who witnessed and recorded history, he'd had many names and many identities; fifty-two to be exact. He remembered each, in part because he wasn't able to forget much, but they sounded foreign still on his tongue, even despite him having chosen them in maybe a passing fancy, a name he liked, something he saw, a person he used to know. But none of them were really him. Of course, he didn't even know who he was. But they didn't feel right; _he _didn't feel right.

Untial alias and personality number forty-nine.

Lavi.

Lavi liked to talk to people. Lavi liked to read in the library about anything and everything. Lavi liked to laugh. Lavi liked to tease and call people cute names. Lavi liked being helpful, but not over exerting himself too much. Lavi liked Italian food. Lavi liked beautiful days when he could sit out in the grass and just watch the sky. Lavi liked Komui and Allen and Lenalee and Johnny and Bak and Reever and Jerry and all the others in the Black Order.

But most of all, Lavi liked Kanda Yuu.

Lavi and Yuu used to fight together, and sometimes against each other. Lavi and Yuu used to eat in the mess hall together, Lavi with his pasta, Yuu with his tea and Japanese noodles. Lavi and Yuu used to meditate together, sitting in comfortable silence, side by side. Lavi and Yuu used to love in secret. Too long touches in passing. Soft and slow kisses in the privacy of Yuu's room. Words only for the other's ear murmured quietly. Lavi and Yuu used to love.

Sometimes Lavi would come back when he found himself about to say something Lavi-esque or when he felt empty, laying alone at night. Lavi refused to stay as a memory. Lavi was stubborn like that. And he knew it was Lavi doing these things, feeling these things, because Ari, alias fifty-two, didn't feel lonely nore did Ari cry and Ari _especially_ did not love. Nor did Tema nor Yaro.

Ari, Tema, and Yaro did not make good friends. Ari, Tema, and Yaro did not laugh. Ari, Tema, and Yaro only read books about history, not books about fictional places (nor Japan) and people (nor swordsmen) nor about animals, especially not bunnies. Ari, Tema, and Yaro did their jobs as Bookmen and moved on, eventually disappearing from the world.

Ari, Tema, and Yaro did not feel right.

Ari, Tema, and Yaro were not Lavi.

Maybe one day… one day when Ari is a person barely remembered, he can be Lavi again.

Because Lavi loved Kanda Yuu and he loves Kanda Yuu.


End file.
